I turned 31 yesterday, and as is my way I got to pondering where I am and with the end of the decade around the corner I got to wondering where I have been and where I am going
if you have paid any attention to my previous entries, and if you haven't I won't blame you as I get repetitive sometime, I do tend to do this who introspective thing on a fairly regular basis.

But I am trying to be more pragmatic and figure out what next
a lot of me and my problems come from me not being happy or confident. and the truth be told just getting on with something would go a long way to changing all that.

So I was wondering can I turn my life around some in a year
make myself feel a better person?
to that end I am coming up with 12 goals, one for each month (although I am not restricting myself on that kind of a time scale)

so yeah I am brooding on that
trying to get more writing in general done
oh using more of what I already have, need to start sorting out this life of clutter and ideas into something more practical and that I am more happy with
watch this space and poke me if I don't write more within a week!

So I have been looking at my DVD collection, which in all fairness is quite big, wondering how many of them I have only watched once an in the case of my free with a newspaper discs, how many I haven’t watched at all since I got them. And then I got to thinking how much time I waste on banal wall paper style TV that consumes my hours. 

So I came up with a novel idea that has caught my fancy. I am going to watch my entire DVD collection again... in alphabetical order. Yes I know this may be the first sign of madness, but there are some good and neglected movies in there that are more than worth watching, great tales and moving plots... and some trash that seemed like a good idea at the time, that all deserve a watch again. And a lot of them are the kind of thing that really inspires me and make me feel creative, which I seriously need to be right now. So the rules are this:

1.)    All movies from my collection (including free with newspapers, but NOT including TV shows and stand up DVDS) must be watched in alphabetical order.

2.)    Any additional DVDs bought by or for me during this endeavour can be watched in between but must be watched again if I haven’t gotten to them Alphabetically

3.)    I can watch any DVDs other people bring around or loan me.

4.)    I can watch the movie with commentaries or such instead of just watching them on their own, I’m a film buff and I like to hear them waffle on.

In the time I have been “asleep” I have done ONCE AGAIN been recoiling from the online world.   Didn’t interact, didn’t put myself out there because I was ashamed of where I am and who I am.   So I hid away as much as I could. And I am sorry because a lot of you put so much of yourself out there and I am big believer that communication is the key of making the world a better place and the internet is a great way of communicating...

And have a great big laugh too J

So I will endeavour to get back in touch again with you all as much as I can.

Sozz

You have to imagine the scenario for a second, and remember this is a metaphor. 

You’ve woken up the morning after the night before. You feel terrible, your memory is at best foggy, and there are lots of tell tale signs that things did not go well. Your place is a state, the clothes are ruined, there are suspicious injuries about your person and clearly you have thrown up. It’s one of those moments that give you more of a revelation about the state of your life than of night before.

I would like to stress this is a metaphor, this hasn’t happened to me, ever. I have never gotten that drunk. 
 

If this works, and i hope it does, below there should be a slide show of the 50 or so final picture i selected from a gig i went to the other week, which i figure as an easier way of sharing with you've what i have done.  You can check them out individually on my flickr account if you get bored with the slide show.
A while ago on myspace someone i know said their brother was setting up a website/facebook app to get band info out there and i asked him if he needed someone in southampton, at the time it was london only but he has since expanded the operation and got back into contact with me and asked me to shoot this gig for him.  this may lead to more gigs, it may not, but it was good to get back out there and doing some photography again.  it was very sudden and i don't think i was prepared enough but it worked out ish in the end
FYI: the lighting at this gig was a nightmare!
the bands playing in order that they appeared are
Colonel Mustard www.myspace.com/thelastlaughtheband
Drawings http://www.myspace.com/wearedrawings
Thomas Tantrum http://www.myspace.com/thomastantrum
Kids Love Lies http://www.myspace.com/kidslovelies